A good girls' dream come true

The Olympic badminton people that were sent home yesterday made me laugh, 2 teams trying to outdo each other in being bad at badminton. But they're not the first cheats.....
● Boris the fencer with the buzzer-button hidden in his sword
● Herman the German who was for the high jump after pretending to be a woman
● Gunnar the pistol shooter who steadied his nerves with a couple of pints of beer
● Fred the marathon runner who hopped in a car for 11 miles of the course
● Madeline whose twin ran a relay for her after she hurt her foot
● People were cheating 2500 years ago in the original games of ancient Greece, mostly bribery. They were exiled, flogged or fined. Fine money went to building special statues to remind people of their naughtiness.

Perhaps Mr Ben should think of this picture next time he wants to go to McDougalls.

Anyway, while I was gone, the window man came and fixed the window in my old bedroom, now it opens. In a worthy bit of timing, the window cleaners arrived 20 minutes later and cleaned them all.

Today I was my usual manic self so after a game of Uno we went to Sovereign Harbour (like Gunwharf but without the history) for lunch. Their marina is protected from the sea by a lock system and they've partially desalinated the water - so you can see freshwater fish in it, including neon tetras and grey mullet. While we were walking around it, a weirdo (staff) latched onto us but he gave us bits of biscuit to feed to the fish so it wasn't all bad.



Your favourite supermodel: bridge over untroubled waters

They come right up to the surface to take the food from your fingers, rather like an aquatic tame squirrel. We also took the harbour tour boat and went under a bridge that opens like Tower Bridge, but smaller. Back at home I beat Jof and Nanna at Monopoly, for I am unbeatable.

The boating life has made an impression on me (mildly surprising from a man that lives in the British Naval HQ). This Friday the Euromillions lottery jackpot is £138 million: I bought a ticket and if I win, I shall purchase a little speedboat that sits 3-7 passengers and me (as driver).