Tuesday 5 April 2016

Queen Takes Castle

Once again, my feet in ancient times walked upon England's mountains green. Well, my feet walked upon ancient green bits of England, we don't really have any mountains around here. Sydney picked me up and we went to Portchester Castle, gaining free access using my magic getting-in card and masquerading as a real family, give it time. Anyway, with this many actors it was easy.
portchester castle dungeon walls educational We peered over the precipitous walls of the tower and I actually read all the educational signs and we went into the church and both gave short but heartfelt sermons from the pulpit and here we are chained to a wall in the medieval part of the castle being treacherous prisoners sold into slavery and bondage at a young age. Or perhaps we're doing the uplifting part of Gangnam Style. In the shop we bought medieval chocolates and Roman bouncy balls and I got a red feather with a pen in it, like the self-writing one used by Rita Skeeter in Harry Potter.
We got back to the car just as a passing monsoon landed, and at her house I learned to feed treats to her dog without losing fingers: it's the open-hand technique like when you feed grass to horses. This is called doping.
Then we came back to mine. First I showed her all my NERF guns (what are FRENS for?) and we shot each other and some piles of Lego and a passing parent between the eyes and made a lot of noise.
Then we played foot-tennis with her bouncy ball in the back yard. It's concrete and full of obstacles like the plant pots with trees in and unexpected it's-a-traps like the gap under the back gate. We were warned that a broken window would lead to 3 years of no pocket money, might be scary for anyone who actually got pocket money, ie not me. I might get her again later in the week, could be the beginning of a beautiful nerf-ship.

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