Saturday 13 August 2016

Son over the Yardarm

Today was supposed to be a holiday day and yet the theatre had asked me to come in for the Umbrella Festival and perform hits from the Lion King even though I'm not getting paid for this and surely everyone's forgotten the songs I sing every night in the shower so I got unhappy about this demand on my time and kept renegotiating it down from a 7-hour day to a 5-minute show-yer-face job.
When the Director said get your costume on then you're up next, there was no need to get uglier-than-thou about it but I did what divas do best and had an artistic meltdown which got me out of it. We walked into town where Pokémon Paradise (aka Victoria Park) is found and we poked Mongo until the pokes squeaked. The red-eared terrapins had moved since I was last there yesterday but the hairy rocks (obese rabbits) hadn't. We have all agreed that when we next have a garden, we will buy a breeding pair of tortoises with chunky lifespans and adult sizes to be family heirlooms.
After a morning ice cream (when is it too early to have an ice cream?) we nipped home for lunch because we had an experience for Jof. 3 weeks ago, Bud and I went on a RIB power-boat ride all over the Solent with sharp turns and sea spray and fun. Jof felt left out, although we'd already agreed that as a girl, she wouldn't be able to handle it.
So we bought some tickets and went into the flashing-lights machine arcade to waste some money while we waited for our scheduled boat ride. The boys gave us lifejackets and on we got, and we whizzed around the sea while all around, ferries and navies and hovercraft and yachts and steamers and banana boats and fisherfolk went about their evil business in the sun.
It was quite windy which made the ride rougher but Jof loved it! So we had to apologize for calling her a girl and she asked exactly the same question as I did which is can we have a speedboat when we win the lottery.
As it happened, it was lucky that it was windy, because the Southsea Thai festival was on, and you need some wind to blow away all those spicy bottom burps. And, by Methuselah, it was the Southsea Kite festival as well, and they always like wind. We looked at the splendid array of kites and there was a dragon, Aladdin, some legs, Pokémon, various superheroes, octopi, monkeys, soldiers, sea creatures and a panda. Gosh, life is fun when you're not in a morning mood, and we've got plans for tomorrow. And the next day. I love it when a plan comes in 9 sections.

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